Previously I talked about how getting used to with jeopardized plans in projects helps me get through the ups and downs of my baby's development. Now, I want to share how communication management I learned from projects help me with the baby.
* Communication Management: Listening to The Unspoken and Speaking Their Language *
Communication management is all about ensuring TIMELY and APPROPRIATE generation, collection, distribution, storage, retrieval, and ultimate disposition of project information (PMBOK). I used capital words to emphasize TIMELY and APPROPRIATE because no matter how sophisticated your strategy on collecting and presenting the information is, it won't be useful if it's outdated or cannot be well understood.
So, the first thing I learned is information has to be communicated on time. It shouldn't be sooner, to avoid unnecessary hustle and bustle; neither should be later otherwise it won't be useful. What does it have something to do with a baby? Babies talk by crying. Everyone knows that. They have many kind of cries to indicate different kind of needs but only one kind of angry cry (at least to me) which happens when they are throwing a tantrum. And every other cry will become a tantrum cry unless their needs met on time. So, to avoid the tantrum, I need to response on time. If I give her needs too soon, she will get used to with fast response and will have the same kind expectation later which will become a problem when I'm busy. Also, by giving her enough time to "tell" me what she needs, I expect she'll develop her ability to communicate and make me me understand her other subtle cues.
Communication's goal is to understand each other. Then, the question wuold be "how to understand what people say?" It comes to the second point: listening to the unspoken. Listening is about paying attention to the speaker. There are a lot more said by people's gestures, facial expression and choice of words than what is actualy said. Thanks to my woman-tendecy to always decipher meaning behind everything, it helps me to capture what is actualy happening beyond words. (Even though sometimes, I over-analyse simple things). I often see people who say "yes" in meetings but their eyes are completely blank. Or, people who tell us certain thing but he's sweating a lot even though the room is cold (I suspect that he's hiding something). And many other examples. Babies also show those kind of signs. Besides cries which from time to time I can recognize, they also give some cues. Rubbing eyes and slower motion mean that they are sleepy. Playing with their tounge indicates that they are hungry.
Besides listening to people's unspoken words, we should also understand their interest and speak their language.Never give a lengthy explanation of process to get things done to a result oriented person, he won't listen. Especially if he's your boss asking for quick update when rushing to a steering committee meeting. Trust me, you'll have a bad day. Instead, talk to him with a yes/no answer followed by a clear short explanation. If you are taliking to a person whose interest is saving money, give them insights how your progress update will affect the cost of project. Now, with the baby. We know that babies' interest in their very young age are basic needs: eat, sleep and *sorry* poop. Since babies are very intuitive, "talk" to them about their needs through their body. By creating a habit, you "talk to their body". For example, in letting her know that we do most of our activities during the day, I set the room bright and louder and doing more interaction with her. And at night, I set the room dark and silent, and do less interaction so that she knows she should sleep more at night.
The ultimate goal of effective communication is we understand each other. Basically what we do is listen and talk. So, I learned that to listen means to pay attention and to talk is to let people understand things the easiest way to them.
P.S: I am neither a communication expert, nor a baby whisperer. I just want to use my experience to help me and share it to help others.
(Jan'15)
* Communication Management: Listening to The Unspoken and Speaking Their Language *
Communication management is all about ensuring TIMELY and APPROPRIATE generation, collection, distribution, storage, retrieval, and ultimate disposition of project information (PMBOK). I used capital words to emphasize TIMELY and APPROPRIATE because no matter how sophisticated your strategy on collecting and presenting the information is, it won't be useful if it's outdated or cannot be well understood.
So, the first thing I learned is information has to be communicated on time. It shouldn't be sooner, to avoid unnecessary hustle and bustle; neither should be later otherwise it won't be useful. What does it have something to do with a baby? Babies talk by crying. Everyone knows that. They have many kind of cries to indicate different kind of needs but only one kind of angry cry (at least to me) which happens when they are throwing a tantrum. And every other cry will become a tantrum cry unless their needs met on time. So, to avoid the tantrum, I need to response on time. If I give her needs too soon, she will get used to with fast response and will have the same kind expectation later which will become a problem when I'm busy. Also, by giving her enough time to "tell" me what she needs, I expect she'll develop her ability to communicate and make me me understand her other subtle cues.
Communication's goal is to understand each other. Then, the question wuold be "how to understand what people say?" It comes to the second point: listening to the unspoken. Listening is about paying attention to the speaker. There are a lot more said by people's gestures, facial expression and choice of words than what is actualy said. Thanks to my woman-tendecy to always decipher meaning behind everything, it helps me to capture what is actualy happening beyond words. (Even though sometimes, I over-analyse simple things). I often see people who say "yes" in meetings but their eyes are completely blank. Or, people who tell us certain thing but he's sweating a lot even though the room is cold (I suspect that he's hiding something). And many other examples. Babies also show those kind of signs. Besides cries which from time to time I can recognize, they also give some cues. Rubbing eyes and slower motion mean that they are sleepy. Playing with their tounge indicates that they are hungry.
Besides listening to people's unspoken words, we should also understand their interest and speak their language.Never give a lengthy explanation of process to get things done to a result oriented person, he won't listen. Especially if he's your boss asking for quick update when rushing to a steering committee meeting. Trust me, you'll have a bad day. Instead, talk to him with a yes/no answer followed by a clear short explanation. If you are taliking to a person whose interest is saving money, give them insights how your progress update will affect the cost of project. Now, with the baby. We know that babies' interest in their very young age are basic needs: eat, sleep and *sorry* poop. Since babies are very intuitive, "talk" to them about their needs through their body. By creating a habit, you "talk to their body". For example, in letting her know that we do most of our activities during the day, I set the room bright and louder and doing more interaction with her. And at night, I set the room dark and silent, and do less interaction so that she knows she should sleep more at night.
The ultimate goal of effective communication is we understand each other. Basically what we do is listen and talk. So, I learned that to listen means to pay attention and to talk is to let people understand things the easiest way to them.
P.S: I am neither a communication expert, nor a baby whisperer. I just want to use my experience to help me and share it to help others.
(Jan'15)
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