You Cannot Always Have Fresh Eggs

One of many things that changed in my life recently is I spend more time in the kitchen than I used to be. That's crazy, I know. Since I was a kid I just didn't feel comfortable being there. Maybe it's because when I was very little I was told not to get into the kitchen because there are knives, stove, hot pans, and other dangerous.

Anyway, lately I learned to bake. It's not my first attempt though. But this time, I decided to take it serious. Thanks to the patience and help from my mother in law, now I can bake one of the most delicious cakes I've ever tasted: banana bread. There are so many new things I learned in the process and one of them is knowing that each ingredient really plays an important role and how the quality of each can enhance or worsen the cake. It's funny I never gave enough thought about it.

Eggs are an important ingredient in the recipe. I tried using both very fresh and not-so fresh eggs and the results are surprisingly noticeable (at least to me; while making it). The not-so fresh eggs are not spoiled, they are just not fresh enough so when you crack them the yolks break easily.When I use fresh eggs, I could easily mix them with other ingredients, the mixture has beautiful consistency and look, and you just know that once it is baked, it will become a nice cake. On the other hand, when I use not-so fresh eggs, it took me slightly longer time for them to mix, the mixture does not look as good. I need to compensate it by using better quality of other ingredients  and I still worry that it will fail. 

I realized that eggs in my recipes are like people in our life: office mates, school paperwork teammates, roommates, cousins, teachers, you name it. We cannot always find "the fresh" ones, sometimes we get to work with the "not-so fresh" and have to live with the fact that you've got to produce something together. It is very hard to communicate with them. Sometimes I hope I can put them inside a bowl and I'll mix them with flour using a mixer the way I mix eggs! So, what I can do is to be patient, take the best out of them and you know what - I can still make delicious cakes with those not-fresh eggs. Why can't we have the same for our projects in the office or school?Producing high quality results even if we have to put more effort into it.

(Apr'15)

Nenek Pencuri Kayu

Meskipun ujung-ujungnya kesal setiap kali melihat berita, saya tetap saja selalu tergoda untuk menonton berita di TV. Kali ini salah satu berita yang sedang dibesar-besarkan adalah nenek pencuri kayu. Saya terenyuh melihat tayangan ketika nenek itu menangis di persidangan tapi saya terganggu dengan cara media mengarahkan opini terhadap berita tersebut. Seperti kurang drama, salah satu stasiun TVpun membahas kasus-kasus lansia yang dihukum "tidak adil" karena dutuduh melakukan tindakan pencurian "kecil".

Media membentuk opini bahwa nenek dan kakek tua renta yang melakukan pencurian kecil seharusnya tidak dihukum seperti itu, kemudian (tentu saja) dibandingkan dengan kasus korupsi besar. Yang saya tidak suka adalah mereka menekankan pada pelaku yang sudah tua renta dan kuantitas pencurian yang dianggap kecil: 7 batang kayu, 1 pelepah pisang, 3 butir buah cokelat. Lantas jika ada lansia berusia 98 tahun yang melakukan korupsi atau pembunuhan maka kita harus memberikan toleransi? Lalu jika saya dengan sengaja melukai orang dengan silet, karena luka yang ditimbulkan hanya kecil maka saya tidak perlu dihukum?

Sudah waktunya kita bedakan kapan menggunakan toleransi yang benar. Jika ingin membela nenek pencuri 7 batang kayu, jangan karena beliau sudah tua atau karena jumlah yang dicuri kecil, tapi karena memang beliau tidak melakukan pencurian dan buktikan itu. Mencuri adalah mencuri siapapun pelakunya sebesar apapun yang diambil. Mencuri 7 batang kayu dengan 7 miliar uang harus kita sikapi sama, itu pencurian jika memang benar-benar terjadi. Karena jika kita terus menerus permisif dengan kuantitas, lama-kelamaan patokan ukuran kita akan menjadi bias. Semua dimulai dengan, "ah, gak apa-apa ambil untung proyek diem-diem 1 juta, kecil ini", suatu saat nanti 1 miliar pun akan terasa kecil dan segala macam pembenaran akan dipakai. Saya yakin pencurian besar dimulai dengan pencurian kecil-kecilan. 

Mari kita berpikir lebih maju daripada yang diajarkan TV kepada kita. Gunakan toleransi pada tempatnya. 

*Berhubungan juga dengan tulisan saya yang ini: 

(Mar'15)

Susan, Kalau Gede Mau Jadi Apa?

Banyaknya teman saya yang melahirkan dan hamil membuat ucapan "semoga anaknya jadi anak sholeh", "semoga jadi anak berguna" dan semoga-semoga yang lain sering sekali muncul di timeline. Sekilas memang tidak ada yang salah dan sepertinya orang juga mengucapkannya mengalir begitu saja. Seperti mengatakan semoga keluarganya Sakinah, Mawaddah, Wa Rahmah atau pertanyaan "kapan nikah, punya anak, punya adik". Semuanya terasa seperti formalitas.

Tidak ada yang salah dengan mendoakan dan mengharapkan seorang anak untuk menjadi seseorang yang baik. Hanya saja saya khawatir jika harapan-harapan tersebut justru hanya bentuk ketidakpuasan atas diri sendiri dan keinginan agar sang anak "membayar"nya. Siapa yang tidak merasa bangga mengatakan bahwa anaknya adalah orang terpintar di sekolahnya, dapat beasiswa ini, menang lomba itu, menjadi yang terbaik di bidang ini itu? Tentu mudah sekali untuk bangga kepada anak yang berprestasi.

Jauh sebelum anak saya lahir, saya sudah punya cita-cita untuk memasukkannya ke sekolah Montessori, membuat dia memilii koleksi buku yang banyak, masuk ke perguruan tinggi top, dan banyak lagi. Kalau dilihat lagi, itu semua obsesi yang tidak dapat saya lakukan sehingga saya ingin dia yang melakukannya. 

Apakah saya punya hak untuk membuat dia "membayar" semua "hutang" mimpi saya? Atau pertanyaan utamanya justru apakah saya punya hak terhadap hidup anak saya? Saya seringkali lupa jika dia tidak pernah benar-benar milik saya. Dia manusia yang merdeka seutuhnya dan saya hanya perantara dia untuk lahir ke dunia. Rasa sayang yang terlampau besar dan tidak saya kelola dengan cukup baik membuat saya sering sombong dan merasa bahwa dia anak saya sehingga saya boleh menentukan apakah dia akan menjadi ilmuwan atau pebisnis. Saya masih belum bisa membayangkan apakah saya siap jika pilihan hidupnya nanti akan bertentangan dengan apa yang saya harapkan dari dia. Bagaimana jika justru dia tidak ingin bersekolah di tempat ternama dan justru ingin menjadi pecinta alam yang menghabiskan banyak waktunya di gunung dibandingkan di rumah? Entahlah.

Saat ini saya melihat anak saya tidur dengan nyenyak dan harapan yang paling mendasar untuk diapun muncul: saya harap dia dapat menjadi orang yang bahagia dan dapat menemukan jalan kebahagiaan yang sebenar-benarnya. Semoga saya selalu tersadar.

(Mar'15)

Sekolah itu Tempat Menghafal(?)

Kejadian siang tadi bikin "kegalauan" saya tentang sekolah yang cuma jadi tempat anak-anak menghapal muncul lagi. Jadi tadi siang pas saya sidang TA, untuk membuktikan kalau program yang saya buat asli bikinan sendiri, saya disuruh menulis syntax untuk membuat koneksi ke database dengan PHP lengkap dengan validasi macam-macamnya. Jujur aja, saya gak pernah hapal syntax. Apalagi udah lama banget saya gak coding. Buat apa toh hapal syntax kan ada Google dan kalau pake IDE kan tinggal ctrl+space terus muncul deh saran untuk melengkapi syntax kita. Dan emang dasar sayanya terlalu polos (baca:lemot), saya bilang aja kalau saya itu copy paste syntax dari Google untuk bagian itu tapi secara alur saya tahu step apa saja yang perlu dilakukan. Jawaban bodoh ya (gitu)? Kalau membicarakan algoritma atau alur nalar untuk pemecahan masalah mah, insya Allah saya bisa. Saya pikir, itu sudah cukup. Toh untuk merubah itu ke dalam code ada banyak cara dan tools. Tapi rupanya Sarjana Teknik itu harus hapal syntax juga.

Nggak cuma kali ini saya bertemu masalah dengan hapal menghapal. Percaya atau enggak, jaman sekolah itu saya benci sejarah. Karena terlalu banyak tanggal dan nama yang harus diingat. Sumpah, menghafal kata "falafel" aja makan waktu berbulan-bulan dan kadang masih jelimet, apalagi nama orang. Sejarah perjuangan Indonesia aja, saya baru ngeh dan mulai tertarik gara-gara Bumi Manusia-nya Ananta Toer. Gitu juga dengan Bahasa Indonesia. Saya nggak pernah tahu kalau menulis itu menyenangkan waktu saya masih sekolah. Kalau disuruh bikin karangan tentang liburan, pasti bikin "Berlibur ke Rumah Nenek" dengan dimulai "Pada liburan semester lalu" atau "Pada suatu hari". Bahasa Indonesia di sekolah itu buat saya waktunya menghapal majas-majas.

Kalau dulu ketika informasi masih serba terbatas, hafalan memang bisa banyak membantu dan handy. Tapi kalau di zaman sekarang ini, saat akses ke informasi gampang banget apa masih seperlu itu? Bukankah alih-alih membagikan informasi dan menyuruh anak-anak menghapal, sebaiknya justru sekolah mengajarkan cara memilah informasi dan memanfaatkan akses terhadap informasi itu untuk digunakan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari? Bukannya yang penting itu mengerti konsep dari materi yang akan diajarkan daripada rumus atau tanggal atau informasi lainnya yang dapat dengan mudah diakses di kehidupan nyata?

Saya pikir ujian itu sudah nggak perlu tutup buku, tapi ubah soal-soal ujian itu dengan pertanyaan yang bikin murid berpikir dan berpendapat. Buat soal yang jawabannya nggak bisa langsung didapatkan dari halaman di buku. Misalnya, jangan lagi buat pertanyaan tahun berapa perang Diponegoro. Tapi tanya apa dampak perang Diponegoro bagi rakyat pada masanya atau pada saat perang Diponegoro, ada event apa yang terjadi di dunia Internasional. Dengan soal seperti itu juga kalau ada murid yang saling contek jadi mudah ketauan kan? Harga yang harus dibayar ya guru lebih repot saat penilaian karena lembar jawaban isinya lebih beragam. Nggak ada satu-satunya jawaban yang benar. Karena seringkali di kehidupan sehari-hari pun, jawaban benar itu gak cuma satu kan?

Kapan ya sekolah bisa benar-benar jadi tempat belajar mengerti, bukan cuma tempat belajar menghapal.

*racauan pelupa*
(Feb'15)

How Project Management Helps Me Taking Care My Baby (Part 2)

Previously I talked about how getting used to with jeopardized plans in projects helps me get through the ups and downs of my baby's development. Now, I want to share how communication management I learned from projects help me with the baby.

* Communication Management: Listening to The Unspoken and Speaking Their Language *

Communication management is all about ensuring TIMELY and APPROPRIATE generation, collection, distribution, storage, retrieval, and ultimate disposition of project information (PMBOK). I used capital words to emphasize TIMELY and APPROPRIATE because no matter how sophisticated your strategy on collecting and presenting the information is, it won't be useful if it's outdated or cannot be well understood.

So, the first thing I learned is information has to be communicated on time. It shouldn't be sooner, to avoid unnecessary hustle and bustle; neither should be later otherwise it won't be useful. What does it have something to do with a baby? Babies talk by crying. Everyone knows that. They have many kind of cries to indicate different kind of needs but only one kind of angry cry (at least to  me) which happens when they are throwing a tantrum. And every other cry will become a tantrum cry unless their needs met on time. So, to avoid the tantrum, I need to response on time. If I give her needs too soon, she will get used to with fast response and will have the same kind expectation later which will become a problem when I'm busy. Also, by giving her enough time to "tell" me what she needs, I expect she'll develop her ability to communicate and make me me understand her other subtle cues.


Communication's goal is to understand each other. Then, the question wuold be "how to understand what people say?" It comes to the second point: listening to the unspoken. Listening is about paying attention to the speaker. There are a lot more said by people's gestures, facial expression and choice of words than what is actualy said. Thanks to my woman-tendecy to always decipher meaning behind everything, it helps me to capture what is actualy happening beyond words. (Even though sometimes, I over-analyse simple things). I often see people who say "yes" in meetings but their eyes are completely blank. Or, people who tell us certain thing but he's sweating a lot even though the room is cold (I suspect that he's hiding something). And many other examples. Babies also show those kind of signs. Besides cries which from time to time I can recognize, they also give some cues. Rubbing eyes and slower motion mean that they are sleepy. Playing with their tounge indicates that they are hungry.

Besides listening to people's unspoken words, we should also understand their interest and speak their language.Never give a lengthy explanation of process to get things done to a result oriented person, he won't listen. Especially if he's your boss asking for quick update when rushing to a steering committee meeting. Trust me, you'll have a bad day. Instead, talk to him with a yes/no answer followed by a clear short explanation. If you are taliking to a person whose interest is saving money, give them insights how your progress update will affect the cost of project. Now, with the baby. We know that babies' interest in their very young age are basic needs: eat, sleep and *sorry* poop. Since babies are very intuitive, "talk" to them about their needs through their body. By creating a habit, you "talk to their body". For example, in letting her know that we do most of our activities during the day, I set the room bright and louder and doing more interaction with her. And at night, I set the room dark and silent, and do less interaction so that she knows she should sleep more at night.

The ultimate goal of effective communication is we understand each other. Basically what we do is listen and talk. So, I learned that to listen means to pay attention and to talk is to let people understand things the easiest way to them.



P.S: I am neither a communication expert, nor a baby whisperer. I just want to use my experience to help me and share it to help others.

(Jan'15)

How Project Management Helps Me Taking Care My Baby (Part I)

 I have now another reason to be grateful for having been doing project management these past couples of years: it helps me dealing with my baby. Of course, you can always implement the concept in everyday life. But, I want to emphasize specifically on how it helps me to embrace motherhood. 

  

I am talking about Project Management in practice which may or may not in accordance with its theory. Since I'm not a PMP-certified, all I get mostly is from experience as a PMO in several IT projects.

*Related to Planning: Always Have Plans But Be Flexible Enough to Maneuver*

The word management itself has clearly identified that there has to be an "order" to manage things. The order is usually proposed and agreed upon in the beginning of projects. Although some of the projects didn't have it in a formal form. It includes how the project will be conducted, how scope will be defined, how communication will be done, how schedule will be established and updated. All aspects related to a project will have its own "order" or governance.

 However, as the project goes there will be some unexpected things occurred which require team to take immediate actions. Often is it against the governance. To keep things going on, certain ways of conduct will not be followed. That's how things are: you should be prepared that they will not be they way you think they should be. You can have plan A, plan B until plan Z, but chance is you can still face the unexpected. So, you should be ready to maneuver and quickly identify the next plan for it.

  

Leaving the project without governance means that you as PMO does not do what you are paid to do. But being too rigid on it, can also impact the end result because there are times when everything is very chaotic in the project and require quick and new planning.

 The same goes to having a baby. As a parent, I feel that it is my responsibility to prepare and plan how I raise the baby; how to build a good sleeping habit, how to introduce her to new things, what to eat and not to eat, and many other things. However, more often than not all the plans are jeopardized. 

  

I managed to have the baby sleeping by herself on the crib after a few tiring nights of taking her in and out of the crib, until she was comfortable on her own and slept well in it the whole night. It went well until she was having problem with digestion which made her so fussy and just wanted to sleep in our arms. That goes for the next few days and I have to teach her again how to sleep on the crib. Another example is on breastfeeding schedule. She naturally followed every 2-hour breastfeeding time after teaching her the habit for a few days. Then, something which I think growth spurt came to the picture. She drank almost everytime and my plan to have me-time in between her feeding time was gone.

 I could just give up planning and just do what people say as "go with the flow". To me going with the flow does not mean that you let the baby does whatever she wants to do. For example, if you just follow what baby wants she could just sleep 4 hour straight. But you know that in such young age (less than one month) she has a very little tummy and she needs to be fed often, at least every 2 hour. Otherwise it may be dangerous because the body doesn't get what it needs.

So, the idea of planning is not about controlling but guiding. It is about accepting that things can go wrong and being prepared to have another plan.

(to be continued)

On Part 2 --> Related to Communication Management

(Jan'15)