All That the Nature Shows Me

This is all about what the nature teaches me, through people, nature itself or consciousness.

Raising Independent Kids

One of few values that I always try to teach my kids is to be independent. I knew that it would not be easy but I didn't realize that it really is not easy. I am not saying that my oldest kid is an independent kid now but in every occasion she always tries to do things on her own (like all other kids if we let them, I believe). There are some lessons learned I got from raising a Montessori kid who wants to be independent, which I think are relevant to workplace. Especially if your working environment encourages working teams to have authority in making decisions.

It Takes (A Whole Lot) Time

Putting the plate after meal to sink is an easy job for us adults. But for a 2-year-old, it is a long and challenging journey. I can just take the plate and put in on the sink and it will take me 10 to 15 seconds. While my little baby will need 1 to 3 minutes or even longer if she dropped the plate on the way. If I just compare 3 minutes to 10 seconds, of course the most efficient way is for me to do it. But then, she will lose her chance to learn to do it herself.  I'm not saving 2 minutes 50 seconds, but stealing her 3-minute chance to feel confident that she can do things adults can do.

It seems easy to allocate few minutes to let her learn. A long the way, when I had one of those days, when we all woke up late and I had morning con-call so I had to leave early but she insisted to wear her own clothes and took forever. That was the time when my commitment to teach her to be independent is being tested. I have to admit that in the time like that I feel embarrassed because I will persuade her to let me do things for her. To make it quick. That makes me realize that besides allocating enough time we also need preparation. That is our second lesson learned.

It Needs Preparation

One day, my baby and I were both frustrated and had spent 10 minutes yelled at each other. The reason is because she wanted to take off her clothes but she didn't know how to unbutton it. I had a chance to teach her how to zip but not how to button. So, she was mad because she didn't know how to take off her shirt but she also didn't want my help as she wanted to do it herself. At the end, she was frustrated and mad, and I decided to take her clothes off even though she cried like crazy.

So, besides allocating enough time for kids to do things their own pace, apparently I also need to prepare them with basic knowledge that will help them later on. The best way to do it is showing by example, and let them try with an "easier" version of a task.

It Pays Off

All the patience you gave, all the drama you got will at the end pay off. Looking at my kid giving her father's breakfast box brightens my day. 

So, letting your kids or your team at office to be independent is worth trying. But do not forget, it takes time, commitment and your help to teach them how to do it by example.

About me

Foto Saya
- writes everything coming to her mind - loves sleeping - wants to own a library - hates routine - loves the pleasure of discovery
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